Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need... = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious by now.
Do what you want... = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk... = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture,
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something
How much do you love me? = I did something today
you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and
find a good game on TV.
Am I fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and
walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think
this is important.
In response to What's wrong?:
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an idiot!