Saturday, October 01, 2005

Learning To Fish

Before getting married, my fiance thought it would be a good idea
for me to get to know her young nephew Dylan. Wanting to make a
good first impression, I selected one of my favorite sports to
bond with him - fishing. I told seven-year-old Dylan that I would
share my secrets to fishing success with him during the special
outing.

Having never fished before, he was excited, to say the least. I
prepared all of the tackle, purchased the worms, packed the snacks
and headed out to pick him up just after sunrise. Having stayed
out late the night before, I decided to purchase an extra large
coffee for the trip. This was not a good idea. I had to urinate
several times and repeatedly went downstream to do so behind a
tree. To save face, I told Dylan that I was just walking up and
down the creek to scout out the "hot spots" for fish.

We had a wonderful time. Dylan learned how to put on a worm, tie
a knot and cast, as well as practice the rules of fishing
etiquette. And besides the many laughs and silly moments we
shared, we also caught lots and lots of fish!

Upon returning home, my future sister-in-law asked an excited
Dylan to share his Uncle Ryan's best "fishing secret" with her. I
wondered if he would tell her about the special casting or baiting
Techniques I taught him, or possibly the time-of-day rules, or one
of my many other secrets.

To my surprise and embarrassment, Dylan replied, "That's easy. If
you want to catch fish, you have to pee on them first!"