Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Deadliest PJS - Read at your own riskead

Here are few deadliest puzzles, courtesy Adarsh Padegal

Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.

Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??
Gulshan: No it is Grocer.

Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...








scroll down for the ultimate PJ







Further,,,









Little further...











ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C









Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta hai..

Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai,bahut ghumak phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata hai.

Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki bijli nahi hoti hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai. Kaise???















Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch
saaf saaf dikhta hai.











Ek Gaaon me Seeta aur Geeta do Behane rehati hai.
Dono ko ek baar nadi paar karanee hoti hai.
Seeta nadee me kudati hai aur tairake jaatee hai.
Geeta pool ke upar se chalake jaati hai.
Phir bhi Gaaon ke log bolate hai ki Seeta Geeta se jyada intellegent hai.
Kyon?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kyon?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Socho.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nahi pata?
.
.
Kyonki
Seeta ko Geeta se S.S.C ke exam me jyada marks milate hai.







zindegi ek paheli hai...
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
------
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---
---

scroll karne se solve nahi hogi....















Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI















Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.

shivji khush .

Prakat hue ...

bole ...

.

.

.

.

.

puttar maang ...

maang kya chahiye tujhey !

bakth utha ...

bole shivji ...

mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !

shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?

unhone kaha ... puttar ...

tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...

kuch bada maang !

.

.

.

.

wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do

shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ... !

par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !

shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ... bole ..yaar tu

kuch aur maang .. guitar

na maang ...

wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab

shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata :)













) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution

=

Heart Attack

Matlab


scrolll down
















DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!











Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by Chennai???



Think......

























Think..














Bit more.......



Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means
chen..nai...





What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think

tired of thinking???

Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"





Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"







...
















....













.....

okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"







ok whats the opp of venky's..


































venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)









Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai.


lecture ke baad use bhookh


lagti hai. so


he goes to the canteen. canteen


mein gattu ek pav leta hai.


jaise hi woh


pav khane ke liye uthata hai to


dekhta hai ki uski plate mein


"jannat" likha hai.


To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai


ki gattu jiska


lecture attend karke aa raha hai!


, us proffessor ka


naam kya hai???


guess


scroll down for the answer


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


..


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


The answer is


Ishq Ki Chhaon.


Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"


"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....











A women goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald??? How???


Lets C' if you can solve this one....




...


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.





















..
.
.
.
Can't think...c'mon...



.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.

..

.

.
.
Here goes the answer...



.
.

.Automatically (Auto-Mein-Takli).....Smile-













Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

Comepalakrishnan.


What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.


How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?

Ready....Steady.....PO


What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?

Rangamannar Rangarajan.



What do you call an amazing Malayalee?

Pheno Menon.



What do you call a dashing Malayalee?

Debo Nair.



Why did the Malayalee cross the road?

To join the trade union on the other side.



do you call a god fearing Sindhi?

Bhagwandas Godwani.


A Sindhi electrician?

Voltram Bijlani.



A Sindhi milkman?

Gopal Dudeja.



A Sindhi pest control contractor?

Khatmull Marwani.







A Sindhi detergent?

Neelam Rin-dani.

A Sindhi postman?

Mailwani.





A fashionable Sindhi?

Jogio Armani or Primlani.





A forgetful Sindhi?

Bhulo Bhulchandani.



A fat Sindhi?

Hathiramani





A corrupt Sindhi?

Chaipani.



A Sindhi fly?

Makhija.






Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when

he was offered tea?

Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.



What is a Gujju picnic called?

A snake in the grass.



Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?

Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'



What did the Gujju! mean when he said," Maro dikro

STATES ma gayon?"

His son failed in statistics.



Maro dikro Dubai gayo?

My son drowned.



Which programs do gujjus couples love to watch on

tv? Be-watch

(Baywatch, Be in gujju is 2)



What do you call a knee less gujju ?

Nilesh (Pronounced Nee-Less)





An outlawed Bengali?

Kanoon Banerjee.



An enlightened Bengali?

Jyoti Basu.



Bengali who works?

A work of fiction.



A stupid Bengali girl?

Balika Buddhu.



A Bengali marriage?

Bedding



A mad Bengali?

In Sen.



A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?

Kalidas Guha.



A Bengali mobster?

Robin G

















A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.

"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.

"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss.

By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD
YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!

WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."













A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a bath, but he hasn’t got a soap and there is no water anywhere around…

what can he do?









->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of integration) Using the lux soap he will take bath in the ‘c’.



one day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile
his call gets cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on talking..they start liking each other..and finally they get married.
what MORAL do u get???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
An IDEA can change your wife.













ek baar teen ants jarahi thee.......
to unhein cheenee(sugar) ki bori milti hie to pahlee do cheenti to usmein se cheenee ke dane utha leti hei but ek nahi uthati batao kyu ...........



kyunki













kyunki





use sugar ki beemari thee









A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.


:-(

Guess why ?











because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"















how do u place a camel in a fridge in three steps??
...
...
1.open the fridge
2.keep the camel inside it
3.close the fridge
next one
>>
hoe do u place an elephant in the fridge in 4 steps??
..
...
..
1.open fridge 2.take the camel out
3.place the elephant inside
4.close the door





there was a jungle meeting. all the animals were required to report. all of them turned out, except one. who was it and why??


.


.

.

.

.
.
.
.
.
.the elephant... u put it in the refridgerator, remember ???





now u have to cross a river which ios inhabited by deadly crocodiles...but any way u have to cross that river ...how will u cross that ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
it simple ...as all animals are attending the meeting ...so no crocodiles are there..so u can cross easily...



Okay in the jungle meeting where all the animals reported, they were welcomed with gutkha.....only one animal requested for a particular brand. which animal and which brand?








Ans: the animal is giraffe and he opted for "Manikchand" (Unche log unchi pasand !!!)




king lion goes on a search to find elephant

and has absolutely no problem in locatin this camel......y??








becoz our elephant kept his footwear outside the fridge.







suppose u need 2 transport all the things in ur house 4 relocating..suppose u go by aircraft ... it is losing height and pilot asks u throw something away to reduce load...what is the thing u will throw away to reduce the load??
...
...
the elephant in the fridge!!!!!!!!

two persons r talkin by the swimming pool...one says he wont swim bcoz he is afraid of dying bcoz of drowning.....the other one says ....hey dont be afraid..i'll show u how 2 swim and he dives in the pool n starts swimming....
suddenly, the man outside the pool dies...
........
...........
guess why????????
..........
.........
.........
the elephant falls on him.......
.......
......
ok enough time pass one final Q

ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya
to kaise bahar nikalega???????
........
........
think
....
think....
......
......
......
.......
.......
.......
.......
geela ho ke nikalega......









whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping from 10th floor?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)







Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?


think......
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
socho socho
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
...........
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!