1. Did you take a bath?"
"Why, is there one missing?"
2. "Are you chewing gum?"
"No, I'm John Smith."
3. "I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."
"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"
4. "What are you going to be when you graduate?"
"An old man."
5. "I spent three years in college taking medicine."
"Are you well now?"
6. "Do you say a prayer before you eat?"
"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."
7. "I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."
"Who wants to eat friends?"
8. "We are having mother for dinner, darling."
"Make sure she's well done."
9. "I want some rat poison."
"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"
10. "It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."
"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."
11. "May I hold your hand?"
"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."
12. "Does water always come through the roof in this place?"
"No, sir, only when it rains."
13. "When will you straighten out the house, dear?"
"Why? Is it tilted?"
14. "Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"
"No, you'll have to walk"
15. "Now that you're married, you should have some insurance."
"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."
16. "I have changed! my mind."
"Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"
17. "Would you like your coffee black?"
"What other colors do you have?"
A Tooth Problem
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
Importance of Sleep
A man can go two weeks without eating. But if he doesn't rest at all, he can only survive for one week. Sleeping provides us the time to rest our internal organs, eyes and brains. Poor sleep quality can cause internal damage to our internal organs and brains.
Therefore, sleeping is very important to us. If you wish to have a long life and stay healthy, please take note of the advice below.
5 DON'TS when you are sleeping :
1-DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH :
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.
3-DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE :
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.
4-DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP :
People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.
5-DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE :
You may never wake up again.