Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Behaviour Problems in Children

Behaviour problem Possible meaning Do not Do
Hurts other children/span>
Troubled feelings, anger Punish or hurt him. Make him feel
‘bad’, act angry

Separate quietly the other
children. Divert his attention. Take away the hurting object, calmly and
firmly. Teach the child that there are some things we just do not do. Help
the children play happily together again. Prevent hutting episodes by helping
the child feel loved, by giving him other outlets for feelings.


Feelings of helplessness, Jealousy, Boredom. Wanting
attention, Excitement, Exuberance, Curiosity

Scold, yell, shout, tell him he is
bad. Preach at him. Punish, spank or hit him.

Remove destroyable things from the
child’s reach. Provide hem a good place for play. Expect some wear and tear
from things. Substitute something else for what is being destroyed. Expand
the child’s world by taking him to different places, let him see and explore
new areas. Provide things to pound and mess, cut and tear. Teach him firmly
what he may and may not do.

bad language

Trying something new. A joke, imitation, getting
attention. Letting off steam.

Get excited. Feel embarrassed or
shocked. Scold or punish. Lecture at him. Over emphasize the bad language.

Relax, understand what it means.
Tell him calmly to stop. Try rhyming some other word with it for fun or often
other simple substitutes. Give him healthy outlets for his feelings.

not share

Too young or too little. Need for experience in owning
and sharing.

Snatch from him scold or hurt him.
Tell him do not like him.

Helping to share and like it. Be
sure he has things that are all his, let him know what it means to own
things. Be a fair arbiter in his squabbles with other children. Love him,
help him to feel secure. Provide experiences as he is ready for them.

his thumb / fingers

Need for sucking. Need for loving, cuddling, assurance
and comforting, fatigue. Hunger, dissatisfaction, boredom.

Force or restrain. Punish or
scold. Coax threaten or bribe. Tie fingers or smear hem with bitter

Provide sucking satisfaction. Give
more satisfaction, love, attention and pleasure. Find out what he wants and
needs and provide them as best as you can. Relax and realize that thumb
sucking rarely lasts and is not serious. See it as a sign that the child is
unhappy or dissatisfied at the moment.


He is not ready for training yet. Too early to effort
train. Resistance or rebellion. Insecurity, fear.

Make an issue. Threaten, shame or
punish. Bribe or reward. Insist that he tells you when he should go to the
toilet. Tell him you do not love him.

Accept it and the child as
gracefully as you can. Except some accidents. Give him affection freely. Let
him know you have confidence that he will do better some day. Help him become
independent in other ways and encourage him to grow up.


Feels let out, insecure, unloved. Boredom. Interest in

Scold or punish. Ignore or isolate
him. Ridicule him. Shame him.

Give him a flair measure of attention.
Show interest in him as a person. Provide interesting things to do. Share
yourself with him.


Previous painful experiences. Strangeness. Need for his
parents close by. Feeling unloved or guilty.

Force or reason the child out of
his fears. Shame, threaten or coerce. Make him do the feared thing.

Reassure and comfort him. Make the
feared place or situation a happy one. Teach him caution for real dangers and
hazards. Show him love and comfort. Encourage his efforts to be ‘big’. Help
him to help himself, avoid fearful experience, avoid fearful experiences or
prepare him for them.


Ignorance of property rights. Unsatisfied needs and
hunger. Rebellion. Hostile feelings. Imitation.

Make hem feel bad. Scold or shame.
Punish or reject. Cut off love. Take from him something to make up for the
theft. Humiliate him before others.

Let him own things and get a sense
of mine and yours. Help him earn and get what he needs and wants. Be kind,
understanding and not too rigid. Provide creative outlets for his interests.
Help him make real friends.


Fear of punishment, exaggeration, imagination, imitation,
attention seeking.

Preach or prophesy. Punish or
shame or reject. Make him apologize. Get upset.

Relax and try to understand. Give
him attention for what he does and provide him with opportunities for
enriching his imagination. Help him discover the difference between fact and
fancy. Tell him the truth.

out of bed

Curiosity, interest, not sleepy, attention seeking.
Uncomfortable. Examine what you expect from him.

Scold or punish, threaten. Reward
or bribe. Put to bed as punishment. Tie or restrain him.

Make going to bed a happy
experience. Read or sing or play with him, a little before leaving him in
bed. Avoid over-stimulating experience at bed time. See that his needs are
met before he goes to bed. Talk to him in bed with evidences of real
affection. Put him back kindly but firmly.

to eat

He is not hungry. Dislikes particular food. Feels unwell.

Force. Make a scene. Punish.
Reward. Threaten. Put on an act.

Be casual and calm. It will not
hurt him to miss a meal or two. Introduce new foods only a bit at a time and
along with favorite foods.

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